Saturday, June 14, 2008

Steven Seagal Contest Ends in 15 Days

What the shit are you guys waiting for? The contest ends in 15days!!! A free DVD of the most voted for Steven Seagal Movie goes to the anonymous winner.

Beowulf: Manliest Man That Ever Manned (2nd Edition)

I don't know if you have ever heard the old saying, "All men are created equal," but I know in the depths of my heartless chest that those words are as true and undeniable as forged steel. I also know that it applies to men who were computer generated in the basement at Sony Image Works by a team of pale, iron deficient, hairless nerds. ( I can joke like that, I'm in that industry!)

Beowulf is officially the second man to grab the the soon to be coveted title of "Manliest Man that Ever Manned." If punching through the eyes of cyclopean sea monsters, scoring with half naked mermaids, nude wrestling a murderous giant, boning a shape shifting milf, and cutting your own arm off to squeeze the heart of your illegitimate bastard dragon son with your bare hands doesn't make you a man, then I don't want to know what does.

-Conan The Bloggarian

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Jackie Chan: Manilest Man That Ever Manned (1st Edition)

What the hell is "Manliest Man that Ever Manned"? It's a celebration, an illumination if you will, of the most gravel eating, mustache wearing, crotch punching, dare deviling men ever to have been birthed by the beard of Zeus. I feel, not that I have feelings since I am a man, that Jackie Chan was a worthy KICK off into the "weekly/monthly/whenever we damn well feel like it" installment of "Manliest Man that Ever Manned."

If you have a pair of fuzzy testicals squared away in your pants, than you probably know of Jackie Chan. Chan probably has more man balls in one of his many broken bones than any of us lazy bastards can ever dream of having in our fat bloated stomachs. He's jumped from a collapsing building, been run over by hovercraft, smashed open his skull, broken his nose three times and has probably shattered every bone in his body no less then 1 Billion times. (Check here for a more accurate and interactive diagram of how much more of a man Jackie Chan is than you.)

So, with Jackie throughly high five-d, check out some of these videos.

- Conan The Bloggarian

Police Story 2 Playground Fight

Most Heads ever smashed into Glass on Purpose! (Police Story 1)

Top 10 Stunts