Thursday, July 31, 2008

Man-Tube Clip: Brass-Eyes, the Brass Balls of Eyes

Another great video from The British Bulldog. Brass-Eyes is a comedy team from the UK that ran amok about a decade ago. You can smell their influence in Sacha Baron Cohen, The Daily Show and any other faux news show.

The clip is quite mantastic, but I'm pretty sure I suffer from that disease.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Man-Tube Clip: Catchphrase

This comes courtesy of the British Bulldog. Oh Marita, you innocent fool.

Manliest Music Video (by default, not content)

Apparently breaking peoples arms helps your vocal chords. Take a man-gander at Steven Seagal's music video from his album, "Songs from a Crystal Cave." I'll keep this post short, since the video speaks for it self. I'm a little disappointed he didn't put in the trademark Seagal cock-walk, but he does beat the shit out of two kids in the video.

To quote Ron Burgandy (in the Alternate cut of Anchorman), "I...have no...words."

Man Tube Clip: Prepare to be Seagaled

Well, it's been far too long since The Manternet got back to its teeth punching, steel forging roots...a man-crush on Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal's classics are some of the most entertaining unintentional comedies you can find. The fighting is quite good too, if like seeing arms, necks, fingers, jaws, ankles, and balls being broken left right and center. His new movies are devoid of any of these redeeming qualities, so don't even bother. Believe me, I developed an unhealthy obsession with netflixing his movies until I saw Exit Wounds. (Yes, I too was surprised it is possible to go downhill from there, but just rent Flight of Fury if you don't believe me). So enojoy this classic scene where Steven Seagal Segals the shit out of a bar full of New Jersey douche bags. (I especially like how many synonyms are used to describe these faux-Italian gangsters.)


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mr. T Debacle Exposes America's Politically Correct Puckered Ass

The link below is an article from a UK website that discusses some hullabaloo over a recent snickers ad campaign. Apparently BA Baracus shoots delicious nut filled candy bars at the wimpy ass of what The Human Rights Campaign feels is a mock depiction of a gay man. The Manternet absolutely does not endorse candy based hate crimes based on sexual orientation, race, or any other factor. We don't feel, in any way that homosexuals are second class citizens. More importantly, you should never mock speed walkers. Those are some vicious motherfuckers. Anywho, men are the superior gender, gay or straight. As you can see, this is decidedly the least homophobic man-based blog in existence. I feel like I should say fuck you, just to man things up.

There is a such thing as being ridiculously, unforgivably politically correct. In a very American move the Mars Corporation showed its utter lack of brass balls and gave into the excessive political correctness of The Human Rights Campaign by pulling the ad campaign; an ad campaign that doesn't even run in the U.S.A. There is a point where political correctness becomes more irritating than a nagging girlfriend. I think that tipping point is when you start spreading your tight assedness beyond the natural and cultural borders of your country. Stupid digital age!!! Only two complaints were logged in the U.K. over this ad. I thought those pale, blood pudding eating wankers were supposed to be the the puffers of the world, not the muscle brained Americans. Oh how times have changed. With all of the energy spent on getting ads pulled for overly sensitive organizations for people who are superficially insulted, there are a lot more important things going unfixed. For example, John McCain might actually become president of the U.S.A. Again, I feel the sudden urge to say FUCK YOU.

It's a good thing no one reads this blog, or the Human Rights for Meat Heads Campaign would have a field day.