Friday, July 4, 2008

American Men To Stimulus Package: "Screw You Credit Card Debt, Im Buying Porn!"

What does Bush, Porn, Stimulus and Adult Market Research Company have in common?
An interesting little blurb on The Huffington Post talks about what some people might be doing with their Erectionomic Stimulation packages from Bush. I'm not sure how factual these statistics are. Considering it was an Adult Internet Market Research Company, I assume of course that the analysts themselves are porn stars. Last time I checked, porn stars aren't known for their math skills, unless they are tea baging a scientific calculator.

Don't these idiots know YouPorn is free?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Random Google Image

I know what you are thinking. What the fuck is the internet? By now the entire world knows what The Manternet is. Its like a super hero sequal, it needs no further exposition. But what in the shit is the internet?! Apparently there is a series of cleverly winding tubes deep under our feet that allows the world to be connected in unfiltered ways. Every shade of information is shared around the world, weird little nerds battle to the death in weird little nerdy online games, porn is enjoyed by infants and geriatrics alike. Apparently, it's also a good place to stumble upon a random image that brings a big doofy punchable smile to your face.

Have you have ever seen an image that needed less words to describe it? Me neither.

Email The Manternet your random google finds and we'll post em.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Hey Richie! Im gonna Get You... Richie! (or break bones tryin')

Well folks and folk-ettes. (If you are a folk-ette, get the fuck off The offense.) The contest has ended and all 8 of you have done your civic duty and cast your votes. It was close, but, "Out For Justice" was voted the best Steven Segall movie. It's my personal favorite, but that has nothing to do with anything. So congratulations Anonymous!! A blu-ray copy of the movie has been sent out to where ever it is you live. Enjoy all of the horrendous Italian accents , meandering plot and bone exploding action.

Look Ma, No Hands, Arms or Legs!!! (and I might be missing some vital organs)

In freshman year at college, my roommate pledged a fraternity and brought me to my first fraternity party. As we walked down the stairs to the basement where all of the beer-pong tables where kept, he told me, "Don't walk into the room yet, I have to tell you something." As we peered into the room, which reeked of stale beer, he said, “Here is how you are going to get laid tonight. Spend an hour or so trying to pick out the girl that appears to have the lowest self-esteem and go after her.” This was a trick he had employed successfully many times. Whereas he thought he was teaching me a valuable lesson, something about it just didn’t sit well with me. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t feel sorry for the girl that I potentially may have conquered in this way but I felt badly for my friend for feeling the need to employ such a vulture-like sexual strategy. I get the same feeling I got that day when I read about the below television show:

These girls deserve to get objectified and laid too but putting them on display like this and highlighting their disabilities feels like it very much appeals to men like my old roommate. For them, the turn on is the easy kill – the woman with no other options and who is grateful for their attention because, well, who else would give it to them? The producers say it will be uplifting but I doubt anybody that would want to paint these women in a positive light would want to watch the show. I guess we will just have to wait and see. For now, I am just going to fantasize about the chick that’s missing a leg and lounging on the platform.