Friday, August 15, 2008

Smells Like Bigfoot's Dick: For Reals this Time?

What you are looking at is the possibly the dead rotting carcass of Bigfoot, that a group of trackers stuffed into a igloo cooler. The mythological man-beast/supposed missing link between man and ape may be real. Just for the record, I don't believe there is a missing link. Everyone knows men were forged from steel. Whether or not this is really a dead Sasquatch these hunters shot in the face, or a guy in a Sasquatch suit that they mistook for a Sasquatch and shot in the face remains (pun fully intended) to be seen. Suspiciously the guys that found it wont reveal the rotting flesh to the public, but will be presenting some DNA evidence. We'll have to wait and see if Bigfoot really does exist, or that some poor schmuck in a suit, trying to perpetuate the myth, got his intestines rearranged.

Michael Phelps: Manliest Swimmer That Ever Swam

I'm not much of an Olympic watcher. Its not because I'm not manly enough, its because I'm too busy doing other manly things like punching small mammals and making gravel margaritas. Phelps has just won his 6th Gold Metal. Manpressive!!! Zues would be proud. This video shows his diet for when he is in training, totaling a gut puchining-ly 12,000 calories. His accomplishments are nothing short of enviable. He is one of the great Gold Medalist that ever lived, women across the globe want to rape him, but all I can think about is how many times a day this guy must take a shit.

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